<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Hoshiumi Kourai is Whipped by daedalust</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549155">Hoshiumi Kourai is Whipped</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/daedalust/pseuds/daedalust'>daedalust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Crushes, Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Funny, Getting Together, Hoshiumi Kourai is So Gay, New Year's Kiss, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Timeskip, Romantic Comedy, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, The RomCom That Guiding Stars Should Have Been Originally</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:48:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,026</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/daedalust/pseuds/daedalust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The secret life of Hoshiumi Kourai and why he doesn’t spend his New Year's Eve with the rest of the Monster Generation. Also known as Hoshiumi Kourai spends his holidays with his best friend, who he thinks he might be in love with.</p><blockquote>
  <p><i>Oh Sachirou… little do you know,</i> Hoshiumi covers his eyes with the back of his hand, on the verge of screaming into his pillow. <i>That it is in fact, “gay” for me.</i></p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hoshiumi Kourai is Whipped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/noknockback/gifts">noknockback</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_ho/gifts">ko_ho</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvery_sunset/gifts">silvery_sunset</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the romantic comedy that Guiding Stars should have been, written because I can't stop thinking about how Hoshiumi freaking Kourai spent his New Year's.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure you can’t make it, Hoshiumi-san? My friend Kenma has a huge place… there’s a movie theater, arcade games, and oh! Even Atsumu-san is coming,” Hinata Shouyou says over the phone, his voice loud over the sound of company in the background.</p><p>Hoshiumi leans against the doorframe of his apartment, a hand down the pocket of his jeans. It’s a tempting offer, and he admits he’s missed Kageyama while the setter’s been abroad. “Sounds like a star-studded event, but I’ll have to pass,” he replies.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>Hinata sounds way too surprised that Hoshiumi has plans.</p><p>“I have plans back at home,” Hoshiumi answers, to which he hears noises in the background that sound too familiar. <em> Bokuto Kotarou? Miya Atsumu? </em>He scowls, imagining his national teammates acting surprised over the fact that he has a life outside of volleyball. “With friends,” he adds, to make it even clearer.</p><p>“I see! Well no worries, let me know if those plans change,” Hinata says, lowering his voice to tell his teammates to be quieter. “Happy holidays, Hoshiumi-san!”</p><p>“Happy holidays, Hinata Shouyou! Maybe next time. See you at the Olympics for our scheduled world takeover!” Hoshiumi responds with gusto, wondering if he’s making a mistake. He hangs up, staring at his reflection in the mirror.</p><p>
  <em> Fuck! </em>
</p><p>Hoshiumi curses at his reflection, knowing full well he just lied out of his ass. He has half a mind to pick up the phone, call back, and just accept his defeat and spend a fun New Year’s Eve with his fellow V.League players.</p><p>You see, Hoshiumi Kourai has a bit of a dilemma. </p><p>He doesn’t have any plans during the New Years. </p><p>There really isn’t anything that awaits Hoshiumi back in his sleepy, small town in the Nagano Prefecture. There isn’t much to do in Nagano anyways, except visit onsen or go skiing, which he complains about frequently during the season when his teammates ask to visit. </p><p>As far as New Year's celebrations go, the Hoshiumi family throws together the most <em> boring </em> holiday gathering imaginable, with his local relatives from both of his parents’ sides crowding the house and no privacy whatsoever. There’s his unimaginably tall cousins from his paternal side, who block the views of the fireworks over the mountains and television broadcasts. He’s not sure if he dislikes them as much as his short and loud cousins from his mother’s side, who are all annoyingly competitive with games and jobs.</p><p>His mother even knows he hates those gatherings and isn’t much of a “holidays are important” kind of person herself, so she always encourages Kourai to find other ways to spend his New Year’s. Hoshiumi Asa has always been hands off with her children, extending into adulthood. <em> You have the freedom to do whatever you want in life. That’s what makes it beautiful! </em></p><p>So, what brings Hoshiumi back to Nagano every year during the holidays without fail? It’s something that he’d never admit out loud, or even if someone held him at gunpoint. His own captain asked the same question days ago, and Hoshiumi lied to his face. “I just really miss my brother,” Kourai responded, hastily making his way to the bathroom to avoid Fukuro’s line of questioning.</p><p><em> What I meant to say, </em> Hoshiumi thinks now, begrudgingly. He hates it so much. <em> Is that I miss… </em></p><p>No, he’s not going to say it.</p><p>
  <em> Your brother.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi Kourai is a straightforward guy. His teammates love it about him, and his friends find his honesty “very refreshing.” He flits between his emotions and sometimes fixations like a little bird, never seemingly resting at one for too long. Sachirou’s entertained Kourai’s long monologues about his height, his deep-seeded worries for the future, and sometimes his seasonal crushes that come and go since high school.</p><p>The few times Hoshiumi is quiet though, is when something in particular <em> hits </em>far too close to how he actually feels. He hates admitting it, but he’s a sensitive soul packed behind a spiked carapice that protects him from the world’s harshness. He’s long shed his old hairstyle, but some things about the heart remain the same. He’s sensitive when it really matters. Quiet, when he really wants to listen. Always quiet when Hirugami is talking.</p><p>Hirugami knows this about him, and yet, seems to ignore the last part.</p><p>“Kourai-kun, it’s been a while since you last called,” Hirugami says. He’s relaxing in his apartment after work, the night in full bloom as he’s debating whether he wants a glass of wine or beer with his frozen TV dinner. <em> Or should I save it for a special occasion… </em></p><p>Hoshiumi goes off, unprompted about everything going on in his life. Hirugami listens attentively, picking up on details and sharing his own inputs as he walks around his kitchen searching for a bottle opener. <em> Shit</em>, <em> what cabinet did I put it in this time? </em> </p><p>He gives up and starts wrestling the bottle cap with his teeth, while his dog watches with concern and Hoshiumi continues going off.</p><p>“Anyways, everyone’s getting together this New Year’s Eve. Don’t know why because there’s a whole <em> pandemic </em>going on and everything,” Hoshiumi grumbles on speaker, while Hirugami prays he doesn’t chip his tooth. He goes on for the next ten minutes about how it feels as if he’s “one of the only people who cares” in all of V.League and that it’s “him and Sakusa Kiyoomi versus the world.”</p><p>“Is Kourai-kun upset that he’s not invited to anything?” Sachirou gives up on his conquest, pouring himself a glass of water. </p><p>“Actually Sachirou, I’ve been invited to <em> a lot </em> of New Year’s parties. I just got off the phone with Hinata Shouyou—” Hoshiumi goes on another tangent, and Sachirou picks out the details. <em> Big house in Tokyo. MSBY Black Jackals players. V.League Division 1’s top players in one house. Nice kotatsu. Better kotatsu than the old one you have at home that Kotarou likes so much.  </em></p><p>“Sounds fun,” Hirugami muses, wishing for a second that he didn’t quit volleyball. The clinic has been so busy lately, that the only downtime he gets is when he goes home and listens to Kourai-kun’s twice-a-week rants over the phone. Though lately, Hoshiumi has been acting more… reserved lately, calling much less frequently. (Sachirou isn't sure what's going on there.) “Why don’t you go?”</p><p>There’s a silence on the other end of the line and Sachirou knows he’s struck gold. Hoshiumi starts muttering unintelligibly, and Hirugami waits for him to find his way home.</p><p>“Because I was wondering if you had plans for New Year’s,” Hoshiumi says in a defeated voice. “Well not you in particular.” <em> You in particular. </em> “Anyone back at Kamomedai actually, I figured that y’know, I hang out with a lot of volleyball people all year and sometimes, I really, really just want to hang out with normal people.” <em> I miss you. </em> “And if you happen to be there, guess it’s a good excuse to reunite with Kotarou again!” <em> Bring your dog. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> * Everything in italics is in Hoshiumi’s head. Hirugami doesn’t know shit. He just thinks it’s funny that the famous Hoshiumi Kourai is too ashamed to admit he misses his “civilian” friends. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have any plans actually,” Hirugami says, scratching his head. He can already sense Kourai’s disappointment on the other end of the line, so he quickly remedies it. A small house party shouldn’t be too hard to organize, and Kourai enjoys the feeling of being special, and Sachirou knows what that entails. “But, I can throw together a little housewarming party at my new apartment. It’s long overdue and can also function as a nice ‘welcome back’ party to Nagano’s very own Little Giant.”</p><p>“Japan’s,” Hoshiumi corrects over the phone, preserving his coolness. Hirugami rolls his eyes, thinking to himself <em> “yes, I know you belong to the world now.” </em> “Kourai-kun is <em> worldwide </em>now, Sachirou. Don’t forget it.” He’s definitely pacing around his own apartment right now, his chest and ego inflated.</p><p>“You won’t make me forget it,” Hirugami says, writing down on his notepad who to invite. <em> Suwa-san. Nozawa-san. Maybe Gao. Bessho Kazuyoshi... maybe some friends from the clinic. </em>He’s about to hang up, when Hoshiumi’s voice pulls him back.</p><p>“Oh, Sachirou,” Hoshiumi pipes up. He sounds strange over the phone, a new inflection in his voice. “When can I see you again?”</p><p>Hirugami sighs, knowing his schedule doesn’t change with the holidays. He’s just as packed as he normally is, with a pager by his side in case anything happens. “I work during the holidays, remember? I’ll get back to you on that, good night—”</p><p>“Sachirou, wait.”</p><p>Again?</p><p>Hirugami’s eyes are starting to feel heavy.</p><p>“Can I stay over with you this time?”</p><p>On the other side of the line, Hoshiumi is biting down on his knuckles, thinking he’s crazy for biting off more than he can chew. He throws in some excuses, mentioning he doesn’t have a place of his own back in Nagano and doesn’t want to burden his mother. He knows Sachirou wouldn’t care either way.</p><p>“I only have one room,” Hirugami replies, scaling the guest list down to his small place. He’s never needed a large abode to be happy, and neither does Kotarou who’s old and mostly sleeps these days. “If you don’t mind sharing a bed, like we used to when we were kids.”</p><p>Hoshiumi makes a sound on the other side of the line that sounds far too close to a bird squawking. Hirugami lowers the phone, too sleepy to take in this excess stimulus. “Share a bed with you?” Kourai half-shouts indignantly, “We can’t just… do that anymore. You’re a man, I’m a man..”</p><p>“Kourai-kun,” Sachirou yawns sleepily. <em> It’s too late for this. </em> “It’s only as gay as you make it.”</p><p>Hoshiumi goes silent, even though Sachirou can hear him screaming from a prefecture away. He braces himself for another rant, but is surprised when Hoshiumi responds normally.</p><p>“Beggers can’t be choosers,” Hoshiumi answers, resolved to his fate. “Now get some sleep, Doc. Those dogs won’t neuter themselves.”</p><p>“I do more than that. Good night, Kourai-kun.”</p><p>Hoshiumi hangs up, already beating himself up over everything he’s said the past hour. He stares at Hirugami’s contact picture on his phone, Sachirou under the flowering sakura blossoms, with his closed-eyed smile and cute peace sign. Puppy tucked under his arm. <em> Fuck. </em></p><p><em>Oh Sachirou… little do you know</em>, Hoshiumi covers his eyes with the back of his hand, on the verge of screaming into his pillow. <em>That it is in fact, “gay” for me.</em></p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Last New Year’s Eve</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi spent his last New Year’s Eve at the Hakuba residence (which was a house fit for giants, he noted), his own family joining in the festivities. With the older adults mingling upstairs over champagne and charcuterie boards, the old Kamomedai Boys’ Volleyball team hid away in the basement, playing pool and air hockey.</p><p>“Wait, let’s up the stakes,” Hakuba Gao said, downing another beer. He’s got an arm slung around Hoshiumi’s brother, Akitomo. “Loser has to give the winner a lapdance.”</p><p>“What the hell?” Hoshiumi snapped, already in the middle of an air hockey match with Hirugami, who was barely awake. Gao was clearly setting him up.</p><p>Hirugami Sachirou may be the most responsible person of their generation, but he was always the first to go once given the chance to “let go.” He was laughing at the air hockey puck, asking if it looked like Olimar from Pikmin. </p><p>“It totally does,” Hirugami protested, while Hoshiumi reminded him that it was his turn to start off the point. “Look. It’s basically Olimar, anatomically correct. I took anatomy in undergrad.”</p><p>Hoshiumi, who refuses to get blackout drunk when his mother is in the same building, takes another sip from his can of non-alcoholic beer. “Okay, I’ll close my eyes while we’re playing so you have more of an advantage,” he said, courteously. Like a true gentleman. He pulled out his scarf and tied it over his eyes. <em> Call me Gojo-sensei. </em></p><p>“Kourai-kun, you look so… <em> stupid</em>,” Hirugami giggled, irking Hoshiumi further.</p><p>Fueled by the rage of being made fun of by a drunk person, Hoshiumi managed to beat Hirugami easily, even with reduced vision. He threw down his scarf with gusto and pointed at Sachirou, who was on the verge of falling over, laughing.</p><p>Hoshiumi didn’t laugh for long, when Gao pushed him into a chair. “Alright buddy,” Gao said, pulling the chair toward Hirugami. “Get your victory lapdance.”</p><p>“What’s a lap dance?” Hirugami laughed, his face bright pink and cheerful. He fell into Hoshiumi’s lap without a second thought, and before Hoshiumi knew it, he had Hirugami in his arms.</p><p>Hirugami Sachirou, so close to him that he can smell the liquor off his breath, along with something sweet and smokey in his hair. He’s so happy that Hoshiumi can’t help but feel <em> happy </em> himself, Sachirou’s laughter always maddeningly infectious and too rare. <em> At least you’re happy </em>, Hoshiumi thought to himself, feeling the entire weight of Hirugami’s body on his lap.</p><p>“You don’t have to give me one,” Hoshiumi responded, while Gao rolled his eyes, calling him boring.</p><p>“Okay,” Hirugami said. He looked at Hoshiumi, his expression blissful. “You’re so strong, Kourai-kun!” </p><p><em> Damn, it’s just like what I dreamed about since high school. </em>Hoshiumi thought, enjoying the praise far too much. His brother has joined in on making fun of him. “Er,” Hoshiumi asked, blushing. “Is this comfortable for you?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Hirugami replied, cheerfully. </p><p>“Can you guys do something? This is so gross,” Gao complained.</p><p>“Oh is it?” Hirugami taunted, wrapping his arms around Hoshiumi’s neck. Hoshiumi lets him, because after all it’s <em> Sachirou. </em> They’ve been best friends since they were kids. They’ve done everything together, short of holding hands or kissing. “How about this?”</p><p>Hirugami plants a kiss on Hoshiumi’s cheek. Much to the surprise of everyone in the room, especially Hoshiumi himself, who feels like he’s caught on fire. Burning everywhere on his body.</p><p>The worst part? Hoshiumi doesn’t hate it. </p><p>In fact, Hoshiumi thinks about it for the rest of the year.</p><p>Just like he thinks about Hirugami Sachirou every day, every year since they’ve met. </p><p>Even in the middle of games, when he’s hovering in the sky, striking down on a ball. Hirugami Sachirou, who he comes back to see at least once a year, or more. Sachirou, who has the most beautiful smile in all of Nagano, no Japan, and carries with him memories of victories and sunsets. Sachirou, who he trusts with everything and simultaneously nothing.</p><p>Hoshiumi would rather burn up in flames than admit it out loud. It’s easier to say you love everyone else, except the person you really hold a candle for. Hoshiumi learned that from the full-of-bravado, iron-heart protagonists of his dad’s favorite manga.</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi sits on the train headed back to Nagano, his captain sleeping across from him. Fukuro has his air pods in, probably listening to one of his no-nonsense podcasts on fitness and health, while Hoshiumi listens to the trashiest pop music he wouldn’t be caught dead listening to.</p><p>He’s on his phone, scrolling through volleyball statistics when he checks to see if Fukuro is <em> really asleep. </em> He hears an unflattering snore. <em> He is </em>.</p><p>Hoshiumi opens up a private tab on his internet browser. He types in a name that auto-completes itself when he puts in the first character. He’s glad that it’s such a unique name, one that he doesn’t have to sort through to find the right one. Reliable, like the person it belonged to. </p><p>He scrolls through reviews of a veterinary clinic, a small grin forming at the corner of his lips. Everyone loves him. <em> Of course they love him </em>, Hoshiumi thinks. The animals, the people, no one was immune to the charm of his best friend. </p><p>He can already picture Sachirou’s attentiveness, the concern in his eyes when he works on an animal in need. Kourai knows that face too well, it’s <em> Sachirou’s 150% face </em>. The one that he wears when he commits everything to doing the best job he possibly can.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We’re winning this game, Kourai-kun. We’re taking the whole tournament. You and me.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He pauses on the picture. Dr. Hirugami Sachirou, DVM. The youngest veterinarian in the roster, and already so well-loved by patrons. Known for his professional and empathetic demeanor, and checking up on his patients even after hours. Kourai can’t help but smile every time he sees a glimpse into Sachirou’s new life, feeling a bit like a stranger every time he revisits the webpage.</p><p>Suddenly, he’s on his private Instagram, looking through Sachirou’s pictures. It’s always landscapes, animals, and occasional food pictures. Never pictures of him. Hoshiumi doesn’t hit like on any of them, though he genuinely does, like all of them. He likes the one post about graduation, thinking to himself <em> “yeah. You earned it.” </em> </p><p>Hoshiumi has to rely on strangers who tag him in photos for a glimpse of the face he misses the most during the season. He likes that Sachirou smiles in all of his pictures. He’s become happier and more lively in the time they’ve known each other. Good. He zooms in on Sachirou’s face, as he’s holding one of his patients (a giant St. Bernard named Kouki) close. Cute.</p><p>“Don’t fuck this up, Kourai. This is the shot you absolutely have to make. He’s literally a text away and you’re freaking out for no reason. If you’re so bad that you can’t make this,” Hoshiumi says under his breath, “Then you don’t deserve to be next to him.”</p><p>“Kourai, did you ask me something?” Fukuro opens a sleepy eye, much to Hoshiumi’s horror.</p><p>“No, sorry Captain. Was just talking to myself.”</p><p>
  <em> I really need to stop doing that. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi goes to his parent’s house to pick up his car. He catches up with his mother, lifting her up in the air when she draws him in for a hug. She marvels over how strong he’s gotten and jokes he always looks an inch taller, overjoyed to see him.</p><p>They catch up over desserts and tea, while staring out at the garden. Everything is frosted over in the winter, but she tells him eagerly about the shishito peppers and tomatoes she plans to plant in the spring, keeping them in a makeshift miniature greenhouse indoors at a friend’s house.</p><p>“Come by any time, and feel free to bring Sachirou-kun with you,” she says, waving. She mentions that she’s been texting Sachirou lately, asking him if she should adopt a cat or a dog. It gets lonely now that the kids are older. “He’s basically family to us!”</p><p><em> How convenient, </em> Hoshiumi thinks to himself, driving away. <em> He sure would fit in well. Too bad... Too bad I’m a coward!  </em></p><p><em> But not this year, </em> Hoshiumi resolves, breathing clouds of air through his nostrils. It is so damn cold in Nagano. He keeps wondering if it’s worth coming back as much as he does. <em> Not again.  </em></p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Because Hoshiumi is not a coward, he boldly texts Hirugami that he’ll “pick him up from work” like it’s a declaration of battle. <em> I will pick you up from work, Hirugami Sachirou </em>. He texts and sends, far too fast, the text slipping out of his grip like the situation at hand.</p><p>
  <em> Okay~ also you can just call me Sachirou… no need to be weird about it… I’m not your enemy. </em>
</p><p>“Fuck!” Hoshiumi buries his face in his ski jacket. He wants to die, as he waits in front of the small clinic that Hirugami works at. It’s been two hours, but he has nothing else he’d rather do in Nagano. <em> I want to see you now. It’s been months. </em></p><p>He hears a knock against his passenger door. A muffled voice, coming out from a layer of masks. “Kourai-kun?”</p><p>
  <em> Oh shit. Oh fuck. It’s you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Boy of my dreams. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No, man of my dreams. It’s been over a decade. Fuck, we grew up so fast. </em>
</p><p>Hoshiumi waves airily. Hirugami motions for him to unlock the door. Hoshiumi unlocks the door, struggling to find his keys which he forgot were plugged up in the ignition. Sachirou climbs into the passenger seat, and Hoshiumi turns to face him, composing the world’s most stoic face.</p><p>“Kourai-kun,” Sachirou whines, “It was cold outside.”</p><p>Hirugami’s large, brown eyes stare back at him, like a puppy that’s been waiting for too long to get in. The ghost of guilt at his door.</p><p>“Not this again,” Hoshiumi snapped. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>He already predicts Sachirou’s response.</p><p>“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Kourai-kun.”</p><p>It’s just like that time when they met up at Kamomedai, two years ago, for Hoshiumi’s interview.</p><p>“I mean it,” Hoshiumi snaps, his face growing warm now that he was reunited with Sachirou, who’s going through his messenger bag for something.</p><p>“Oh Kourai-kun,” Hirugami says, withdrawing a box of gloves and disposable masks. He’s always so kind and considerate that Hoshiumi can’t stay mad for long. “For you and your family. I get these for free at work. Stay safe out there!”</p><p>Hoshiumi is fully aware that he’s blushing now, touched by Hirugami’s usual acts of kindness. He opens up the compartment between them and stashes the offerings, muttering a quick “thank you.” </p><p>Sachirou peels off his mask with one hand, revealing a devilish smile, his face as handsome as ever. He looks so good with his new haircut, that Hoshiumi feels like punching his dashboard for no reason at all. “Couldn’t wait to see me? I hope you didn’t have to wait long.”</p><p>“No. Not at all,” Hoshiumi exclaims, too loudly. He would never mention that he was so much of a loser, he waited for two hours in a parking lot. Sure, he could admit that he waited six years for a formidable opponent, that was <em> cool </em> . But this was <em> lame. </em> “Just happened to be on my way.”</p><p>“Oh I’m glad,” Hirugami breathes a sigh of relief. He beams, buckling in his seatbelt. “Kourai-kun’s time is so precious.”</p><p>The guilt washes over Hoshiumi like a wave. “I mean,” Hoshiumi blurts out. “If you wanted me to wait for you, I’d consider it. Even if it’s in some dingy parking lot...”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Hirugami arches an eyebrow. <em> Kourai-kun has been acting weird lately. </em></p><p><em> What AM I talking about?!?  </em>Hoshiumi parrots in his head, wanting to yank his hair out already. He starts his car, asking Hirugami to put his address into his phone’s GPS, silently praying that auto-complete wouldn’t spill his secret. <em> I already know where you live. </em></p><p>Hoshiumi drives out, his windshields working overtime against the snow and ice. Hirugami’s pleasant voice fills his car, but his teeth are chattering— Sachirou is weaker to the elements than Kourai is. He gets cold too easily, Kourai always wondered if it’s because his tall body had to work twice as hard to insulate itself or whatever.</p><p>One of Hoshiumi’s defining traits was his stinginess. The Schweiden Adlers always joked that Hoshiumi was “cheap.” Always opting for the cheapest option when they went out to eat, never using air conditioner during the summer or heaters during the winter in their dorms. Ushijima and Kageyama would always make faces, watching Hoshiumi turn down life’s greatest pleasures for a harder road. Like a seagull, Hoshiumi believed that weathering all conditions made him stronger. He would never pay to lose the strength gained from the struggle. It made no logical sense to him.</p><p>But watching Sachirou shiver was too much for him. Hoshiumi turns on his car’s heater for the first time in his life, wondering when it got so bad. “Sachirou,” he says quietly, a shadow passing over his eyes. “Is it better?”</p><p>“Kourai-kun… you didn’t have to,” Sachirou looks back at him. The light in his brown eyes is worth it, and Hoshiumi smirks. </p><p>
  <em> It’s just like my dreams. Best waste of gas of my life.  </em>
</p><p>“Did you eat? I can treat you out,” Hoshiumi says, feeling like a bird whose feathers have been preened. </p><p>“Yeah, I had a nice lunch actually. The nurses at work always bring me an extra bento. Isn’t that sweet? Today there was homemade shumai- my favorite,” Hirugami says cheerfully, while Hoshiumi feels like he’s been one-up by an invisible enemy. “They make me feel like a special boy.”</p><p>“Do they?” Hoshiumi grits his teeth. <em> Fuck!  </em>“Well… you deserve it.” He means it.</p><p>Sachirou inspects his reflection in the car mirror, his breath fogging up against the glass. Palming a hand through his messy brown hair, and Hoshiumi, who’s struggling to focus on the road (and staring at Hirugami at the corner of his eye), curses the entire Hirugami lineage for making Sachirou so pretty. <em> He knows he’s pretty right? No way he doesn’t. This is so unfair. </em></p><p>Out of nowhere, Hirugami pulls out his phone from the pocket of his white jacket, cracking a smile as he snaps a quick selfie, Hoshiumi in the background. “Oi!” Hoshiumi blurts out sharply, “I wasn’t ready for that one!”</p><p>“Oh, it’s for the nurses at work,” Sachirou hums under his breath, rapping his fingers against the dashboard. “They didn’t believe me when I said the <em> famous </em> Hoshiumi Kourai was my ride home today.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t they know about us by now?” Hoshiumi says, annoyed. Come to think of it, he wonders if Sachirou even mentions him at work.</p><p>“Us? Geez Kourai-kun, I didn’t know we were dating. Yes, they know we’re friends,” Sachirou teases.</p><p>“Don’t joke about things like that! I… I take our <em> friendship </em> very seriously,” Hoshiumi snaps, tripping over words as they left his tongue. Hirugami smiles, his laughter as pleasant as the tinkling of bells in the wind.</p><p>“Me too,” Sachirou says. “I <em> love </em>us.”</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi Kourai wants to die for the second time in one day.</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi is reunited with his true best friend, Kotarou. Squatting on the floor of Hirugami’s new apartment, he buries his face in Kotarou’s fur, feeling the dog lick his hands and whimper excitedly at Hoshiumi’s grand return. He really does love this dog. </p><p>“Kotarou,” Hoshiumi whispers lovingly in the dog’s ear. “You’re the reason I come back to this son-of-a-bitch prefecture. You’re the most honest, most beautiful living thing in this whole planet. Never leave me.”</p><p>It’s so much easier to confess to a dog than their owner. </p><p>Hoshiumi eases into Hirugami’s apartment, all awkwardness falling away when they finally stand out on the patio together, catching up in private. The sky is too cloudy for a sunset, but Hoshiumi is perfectly content just listening to Sachirou talk about his job, the world darkening as time passes. Hoshiumi wishes time didn’t have to pass when they were together, he always becomes more hyper-aware of the passage of time when he’s with Sachirou.</p><p>“What about you, Kourai-kun?” Hirugami says, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. He’s beautiful in the dim lights of his patio, warmth in his features as he listens to Hoshiumi attentively. “Have you been enjoying volleyball?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’m so happy that I get to play volleyball as much as I want these days. Quarantine made me miss it all so much,” Hoshiumi speaks excitedly, white breath swirling around them. </p><p>Hirugami grins, something about his face looking goofier and softer when he watches Hoshiumi talk about how <em> fun </em>volleyball’s been lately, even if the way they practice has been affected by safe distancing protocols. Hoshiumi shines, when he talks about what he loves, Hirugami thinks, even his hair resembling a star. He can watch it all day.</p><p>Hoshiumi stops, pausing to look at Hirugami’s fond face. It’s his favorite expression, a rare one from Sachirou, one that Hoshiumi wonders to himself often <em> “what does it take to get that response!?” </em></p><p>“You’re…” Hoshiumi begins, his voice falling. He’s suddenly embarrassed, and Hirugami averts his gaze briefly, both of them receding into their own bodies after being startled by a brief connection.</p><p>
  <em> You’re home to me, I think. Not Nagano. You. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi is bewildered to find out that despite getting cold easily, Hirugami strips down to his boxers before getting into bed, much to his horror. He tries not to comment on it as Hirugami undresses in front of him, without a second thought.</p><p>Hoshiumi has seen a lot of naked men. He’s actually lost track of how many times he’s seen this particular man naked, at community baths and onsen. He jokes that Sachirou holds the world record for seeing his bare ass, that he should pay up to get the view of an Olympic athlete’s treasure so often, whenever they take one of their friendship pilgrimages to a bathhouse.</p><p>So when Hirugami gets in bed, barely clothed Hoshiumi feels like the entire mattress has turned into lava. He usually also, just sleeps in his underwear when he’s alone, but today— the mere thought of it feels wrong. Especially in Sachirou’s bed, which is definitely too small for two relatively large guys. Hoshiumi hates calling himself large, but he has to admit that he’s fairly average in height compared to Japanese men, not volleyball players.</p><p>
  <em> “Hey, it’s only as gay as you make it Kourai-kun.” </em>
</p><p>Even now, Hoshiumi relies on Hirugami’s wisdom. He gets into the bed, gingerly. Sachirou’s already fallen asleep like a baby, quietly curled up on his side of the bed, giving Hoshiumi all the room to starfish like he usually does. <em> So polite </em>, Hoshiumi thinks, his heart aching. </p><p>He pulls off his clothes, tight around his muscles so it feels like he’s wrestling them off. He pinches the blanket cautiously, slipping into them while feeling extremely naked. <em> Only as gay as you make it, Kourai. </em>He rolls onto his side of the bed, sleeping on the edge, fighting the urge to spoon the guy next to him or even just reach out and hold his hand.</p><p>“Fuck,” Hoshiumi curls up on his side of the bed. He can’t sleep with this tension. He wants to roll over to Hirugami’s side so badly, run his hands through his soft hair. Kiss him or something. Feel Sachirou’s body against his, wrap himself around his back which is still miraculously muscled. Plant his face at the point where Sachirou’s neck meets his collarbones. He stares at the ceiling, wanting to die for the third time in a given day. </p><p>“Fuck, it’s definitely gay.”</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi spends the rest of his winter break doing things that he used to swear on his life that he’d never do for another person. One look at the contents of Hirugami’s fridge and he’s suddenly at the grocery store, picking out fresh vegetables and texting his nutritionist at the Schweiden Adlers for recipes. He’s learned how to make tamagoyaki without needing a special pan, rolling it with ease. Forming rice balls in his hands. Massage someone else’s back when he’s usually the one getting <em> his </em> back massaged. Blow drying Sachirou’s hair. </p><p>Walking Sachirou’s dog. Visiting his old senpai in his city to give them leftovers because he’s never measured anything before and keeps accidentally cooking in bulk. Getting laughed at by his mom when he asks how to tie the cloth around a bento. Ignoring rumors that Hoshiumi Kourai might have a girlfriend back in Nagano, as he’s caught buying expensive presents that <em> normally </em> he wouldn’t even think twice of getting, but Sachirou <em> likes </em> nice things even though he refuses to buy them for himself.</p><p>He’s called his friends in V.League and they ask him where he is. He says he’s staying with a friend. They ask him why he’s wearing his hair up in a bandana, making food in the background. It’s not like Hoshiumi Kourai to be like this, and ask if it’s true that he has a girlfriend. No, Hoshiumi thinks. The truth is far worse than this. He tells them rudely to “mind their business!” and hangs up.</p><p>“Dear Diary,” Hoshiumi pulls out his journal, one of his daily habits that he’s built up to make sure he stays true to himself. He can’t bring himself to write today. “Love, or rather, the chance of love makes you do crazy things. I don’t even know if this is love. I feel stupid. I am stupid. Good bye.”</p><p>He slams his diary shut and grabs the keys by the kitchen table. It’s time to pick Hirugami up, because Hoshiumi hates the idea of Sachirou—who hates the cold so much—biking in the cold. <em> Why does he do that to himself?  </em>Hoshiumi mutters.</p><p>Little does he know it’s for the same reason Hoshiumi puts his body through trials. To build character, like Coach Aaron Murphy used to encourage them to do. </p><p>Kamomedai students really were built differently.</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>It’s finally New Year’s Eve and Hirugami gets off work a little earlier. Hoshiumi has become attuned to his schedule by now, and admits he’ll miss it a little bit when he leaves. Living with Hirugami feels almost too easy, and if he didn’t have to go back to Tokyo, Hoshiumi wishes it could last a little bit longer.</p><p>He remembers Nicolas Romero’s passing wisdom. All relationships with volleyball players end up long distance in some way or another, until you retire for good. Nicolas misses his wife and son pretty often, but tells Kourai that it’s “key to find someone that understands.” His own wife used to play in the pro circuit herself. Hoshiumi wonders if he and Sachirou could deal with it. He has faith, knowing how busy Sachirou is and how busy he is. They could. Besides, Sachirou’s brother is his teammate. They’ll always be connected.</p><p>What is he thinking? Hoshiumi stomps the snow out of his boots. They’re not even <em> together </em> to begin with. </p><p>He follows Hirugami into his apartment, and Sachirou’s hanging up his large white coat and name tag, removing his layer of scrubs next. Hoshiumi doesn’t know what possesses him, but he stops for a moment, staring. Thinking about their future. <em> Tokyo and Nagano. Ueno Station is just an hour and a half ride to Nagano Station. Weekend trips. </em> </p><p>Thinking about the curvature of Hirugami’s body. <em> Where does he find time to work out? His ab lines are still prominent. Shit. Has Sachirou always looked this good? </em></p><p>Sachirou catches Hoshiumi blanking out at him.</p><p>“You’re not checking me out are you, Kourai-kun?” Sachirou hangs his scrubs over his arm, assessing Hoshiumi’s strange reactions.</p><p>
  <em> Fuck! </em>
</p><p>Hoshiumi scowls. He averts his eyes, which were tracing the lines of Sachirou’s body against the faint light of his living room. “No,” he answers, pointedly. “I was just thinking to myself that your undershirt looks uncomfortable.”</p><p>“Oh? It’s very comfortable actually,” Sachirou starts walking over to him with a bemused grin. Hoshiumi has the sudden urge to jump away from him, when the young man offers up his hip casually. “The fabric is <em> really soft </em>.”</p><p>“Is it?” Hoshiumi replies with the grace of television static. He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol running through his veins or Sachirou’s closeness, but he feels almost feverish. Like he’ll burn up on contact if he takes the offer in front of him. </p><p>
  <em> Just reach out and grab it… just touch it so he doesn’t think anything’s wrong. You’ve bathed with this guy naked before. It’s nothing new. He’s already caught you staring. Fuck, Kourai just reach out— </em>
</p><p>Hoshiumi sticks out his hand and grabs Sachirou’s side almost too hard, surprising him. Sachirou wasn’t lying, the fabric was indeed soft, if not tight-fitting. Kourai squeezes his eyes shut, withdrawing his hand. “Yeah. Real firm,” Kourai blurts out, before catching his mistake. <em> Fuck! </em> “-soft.” He scrambles to correct himself. </p><p>Sachirou lets out a breezy laugh that’s far too relaxed for the situation at hand. “I’m glad you think so,” he says, with a close eyed grin. He jabs an index finger at the bathroom, walking away. “Anyways, I’m going to get changed before the guests get here.”</p><p>Sachirou disappears, leaving a trail of perfume behind him that Kourai swears he can see. Kotarou barks after him, nudging Kourai’s side as to say, <em> follow him. </em></p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>Hoshiumi lays out the ingredients for <em> ozoni </em>, the traditional New Year’s soup that’s a staple when it comes to rounding off the holidays for him. He scrolls through his mother’s recipe that she texted to him and Sachirou in a group chat, double-checking his grocery list. </p><p>Diced chicken, shiitake, fish cake, carrot, nozawana instead of komatsuna (both mustard greens, the substitution shouldn’t hurt, Hoshiumi thinks), and his mother reminds him to get some yuzu to “brighten” up the dish. Whatever that means.</p><p>Sachirou cuts the vegetables, making the carrots into cute shapes like plum blossoms. He has an impressive display of cutlery and the nimble hands of a surgeon. Kourai thinks he can watch him all day, when Sachirou puts a hand on his shoulder suddenly, but gently. “Kourai-kun,” he says in a musical voice, holding up one of the carrot flowers to Hoshiumi’s mouth. “Say ah.”</p><p>Hoshiumi, who’s already accepted his fate, accepts the gift in his wide-open mouth, biting down on the carrot with a satisfying crunch. It’s the best a carrot has ever tasted to him.</p><p> </p><p>❆</p><p> </p><p>True to his word, Hirugami plans a very small gathering with people who haven’t gone out much since the quarantine started. It’s just Suwa Aikichi, Bessho Kazuyoshi, Hoshiumi’s least favorite (but secretly favorite) person Hakuba Gao, and Nozawa Izuru. Volleyball players and people who work at home. Due to a lapse in communication, Gao and Bessho bring in way too much dessert, handing off three cakes to Sachirou who prays there’s still room in his fridge.</p><p>They video call in Baya-san, watching over a compilation of Hoshiumi’s greatest plays of the season. Bessho, the youngest among them, still lets out a “nice kill” on instinct, when he sees Hoshiumi score.</p><p>“Blocks getting better,” Suwa points out, to which Hoshiumi responds with a less-than-pleasant noise. </p><p>“Better? What do you mean <em> better? </em> Do they look bad?” Hoshiumi looks over his shoulder for Sachirou, who’s getting the food ready.</p><p>“They’re not as good as mine,” Gao says smugly, leaning over the table with a beer in hand. He’s become the resident blocker of the house, towering over his old teammates even when he’s sitting down. “I can give you private lessons, Kourai. Shape you up before the Olympics.”</p><p>Gao and Hoshiumi start bickering immediately and Suwa takes the opportunity to take some chance pictures. He’s missed this scene and expresses that the best pictures are taken when people aren’t aware they’re being photographed. People tend to try to make what they think is their “best” face, unaware that the best pictures are taken when people are relaxed. Sachirou chimes in to second this idea, saying that it’s easier to perform with the absence of pressure. He would know.</p><p>Nozawa jokes that his underclassmen still need to fulfill their promises to him. “What promise?” Gao asks, still in the middle of fighting Hoshiumi.</p><p>“Introduce me to the cheerleaders on your teams. And Sachirou-kun,” Nozawa winks, lifting up his bottle. “Any cute nurses out there. Get your <em> senpai </em> a girlfriend.”</p><p>“I don’t go to work to hook up with people,” Sachirou says, bringing out a tray of food with a smile. “I do however, know some very cute cats and dogs who would need a home that I can set you up with, Nozawa-san.”</p><p><em> That’s my boy, </em> Hoshiumi cheers under his breath, before he bites his tongue. <em> Fuck. Stop thinking like that. </em></p><p>Sachirou doesn’t belong to him in the way he doesn’t belong to Sachirou. They both belong to the world, it feels like. Trading in their high school nicknames “The Little Giant” and “The Immovable” for something even greater. “Japan’s Little Giant” and “Dr. Hirugami.” They’ve really made it. </p><p>When Sachirou sits down, everyone starts eating. Bessho sings praises over the cooking, to which Hirugami laughs that he’s not much of a cook unless it comes to having guests over. Of course, Hoshiumi knows. Even though he’s left behind his perfectionist ways, Hirugami is always looking to put his best front for others. Always trying hard for the people around him.</p><p>He wonders if Sachirou ever gets tired. </p><p>While everyone is getting full off helpings of dessert and alcohol, Hoshiumi gets up from his seat. It’s near midnight and he feels a sudden urge to get away from a group and get some fresh air. If he wants to be honest, he wants some alone time with Hirugami, who he’s been looking at all night. He walks by Sachirou, placing a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Hey, do you want to come outside with me? Talk a little bit,” Hoshiumi whispers. </p><p>It’s the most sober Hoshiumi has ever seen Sachirou on New Year’s Eve, undoubtedly because he’s hosting something. Hirugami excuses himself, following Hoshiumi onto the balcony, where they step into the cold winter night.</p><p>“Are you cold?” Hoshiumi asks immediately, to which Hirugami chuckles.</p><p>“I’m tougher than you think I am, Kourai-kun,” Hirugami says, leaning against the railing. He likes how the breeze feels against his skin, flushed from the warmth indoors.</p><p>Hoshiumi takes in Sachirou for a bit, noting that he looks good in a button up shirt and his sleeves rolled up. Eye-catching, no doubt about it. He thinks of how all of the guys in V.League talk about how pretty his sister is, and is sure that Sachirou, who’s a spitting image of Shouko except softer, is probably just as much of a looker wherever he goes.</p><p>“They didn’t call you the Immovable for nothing,” Hoshiumi smirks, wondering when he got so tense around his own best friend. </p><p>He wants to laugh at how foolish he’s been all week, finally alone with Sachirou and realizing to himself that this was <em> Hirugami </em> he was talking about. The constant of his life. The person he should feel the most comfortable with in the whole world, because Hirugami has always been <em> that person </em>to him in a way that a stupid crush shouldn’t get in between.</p><p>“I’ve always hated that nickname,” Hirugami laughs, looking at Hoshiumi. Eyes brown and shining.</p><p>“I know. You always complained about it,” Hoshiumi says, recalling distant memories. He folds his arms, he’s always found the nickname pretty cool. “It’s because it makes it sound like you don’t do anything, right?”</p><p>Hirugami pauses. “That, but also something else,” he begins, hesitating. “It makes me sound pretty emotionless, don’t you think? I think it’s the opposite of what I am.”</p><p>Hoshiumi thinks about the first time he’s met Hirugami. Bald, broken, crying. Emotions spilling everywhere, and not enough tissues to capture the blood and tears that were leaking from him. Hoshiumi remembers that Hirugami was the one who wanted to return to such a sentimental place their last year at Kamomedai, to watch the sunset together.</p><p>Hoshiumi wonders when he forgot that Hirugami wasn’t made of stone. He can almost hear the Sachirou in his head turning around to him, asking him, “you didn’t think I was made of stone, did you?” But the Sachirou in front of him is far too polite for that sort of thing. Instead, he watches Kourai’s expression with pointed interest. </p><p>“I think it’s funny how we used to be known for our Iron Wall and unaffected mentality. Habit is second nature,” Hoshiumi muses, citing their old banner. He shoots a glance back at everyone inside the mirth-filled room behind them. Gao laughing, Bessho slouching near the desserts, their <em> senpai </em> teasing each other with flashes of pictures and words. “But were actually a bunch of… you know.”</p><p>“Softies, you can say it,” Hirugami laughs, never hesitating. “Yeah, we sure were scary back in high school, but I think the softest people learn how to wear the toughest shields. Adaptation is important for survival.”</p><p>Hirugami leans closer to him, staring out at the city that’s sprawled out before them. Hoshiumi feels their shoulders touching, but doesn’t want to draw back. He accepts it for what it is. They stare out together at the endless mountain ridge at night, dotted with stars and orange-gold lights radiating from small houses, standing in silence for a while. Silence that feels completely natural between them. Comfortable.</p><p>The first firework takes them by surprise, Hoshiumi more so than Hirugami. Shooting a cursory look at Hirugami’s watch, Hoshiumi realizes it’s already five past midnight. Hirugami swears under his breath lightly, laughing about how the new year slipped past them so quietly.</p><p>“I always lose track of time when you’re back,” Hirugami admits, running a hand through his hair. “I forget how much I miss you, Kourai-kun. It’s like I try not to think about it.”</p><p>He turns around to return to the party and check up on guests, but something comes over Hoshiumi.</p><p>“Sachirou, wait,” Hoshiumi blurts out, reaching out to take Sachirou’s wrist in his hand.</p><p>He’s been waiting to do this for years, maybe long before Kamomedai. Something clicks in his head, with Sachirou’s admission that he isn’t, and they aren’t truly immovable.</p><p>“Stay a little longer,” Hoshiumi says softly. He never lets his voice get this soft, but the want that he’s been keeping for so long has broken through as a fully-fledged <em> need </em>. He adds the last part, his heart beating the same as when he stakes everything on a single spike. “And kiss me before you go.”</p><p>Hirugami returns his intense gaze with disbelief, unsure if he’s hearing Hoshiumi correctly.</p><p>“Kourai-kun... do you <em> like </em>me?” </p><p>Like. Hoshiumi mulls over the word. Like is how he describes food he’s partial to. He likes his teammates. He “likes” other guys on occasion, in a way that his heart flutters a bit when he talks about them, and then the fixation disappears after he gets whatever he wants. He likes everyone in the room behind them, he likes kappa ebisen plum flavor, he likes onigiri.</p><p>“No,” Hoshiumi says with confidence, and for a second feels like the worst person in the world when Sachirou’s face falls for a second. “Wait, that’s not what I meant. To say I like you doesn’t feel like enough, you know?”</p><p>
  <em> Like doesn’t hold the gravity of what I feel for you. A crush is something that passes, but when I’m with you, it feels like I’m stuck forever. Because I’m not okay if this passes. Fuck. </em>
</p><p>“That’s-” Hirugami gives a defeated laugh. “That’s exactly how it feels, Kourai-kun. It’s scary how you always know exactly what I’m thinking.”</p><p>“Not this time,” Hoshiumi leans in, pulling Hirugami by the collar of his shirt. The past few days, he’s felt suspended in someone else’s world, looking for a chance to take control of the situation again. Now that he has Sachirou right in front of him, both of them floating in some unknown of his doing, he feels like he’s in the air.</p><p>And no one can take on Hoshiumi Kourai in his own domain.</p><p>He kisses Sachirou like he’s been holding back for so long, hard enough that he sees the stars pressed against the lids of his eyes. He kisses Sachirou like he’s emerged from a hard-won battle mid-air where he’s been<em> — </em> no, <em> they’ve </em> been <em> — </em>suspended in time without moving for so long. With all the force that comes from being freed from being immobile for so long, and Hoshiumi is kissed back with the same intensity. </p><p>“First kiss of the New Year,” Hoshiumi breaks away, breathless.</p><p>Hirugami still needs time to process what's just happened, in complete shock of what's transpired. "Kourai-kun, if you stay up with me, we can probably catch the first sunset of the year together, too. I know a place," he says. <em>Of course he knows a place. He always does.</em> Both of them are burning up, unable to face the other.</p><p><em> The first of many </em> , Hoshiumi hopes. He follows Sachirou back into his living room, rejoining their guests. No one knows anything has changed between them, because nothing <em> had </em>changed.</p><p>They’d loved each other for so many years without knowing. Loved each other since they collided together mid-air, twelve winters ago, when they were two fledglings flying through a storm who clung together for warmth ever since. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this fic was literally written out of spite because i was just like. what the fuck here is hoshiumi in the new years' illustrations with the rest of the cast?!? literally almost the entire monster generation is there... so hoshiumi WHERE. sakusa is probably at home but like. HOSHIUMI... then i was like... how did he spend his new years then. i bet he was invited. what madman would turn down spending new years eve with hinata shouyou literally i would never. like fuck im sorry if any of my family members read this but i would find any excuse to party with hinata i just... anyways, kourai where?!!? if he was in that illustration he would have DEFINITELY COME OUT for the photo op just like he always does because hes an attention hog. also theres literally nothing in nagano. and if he loved his mom so much, he would have had a flashback of her during his POV chapter?!?!</p><p>and then i rmbred the damn vet and his dog that hoshiumi keeps bringing back instead so i was like fuck. hes probably spending new years with hirugami. then i was like hirugami rly has it huh i wanna fight him what the hell. i mean i hope u know im jealous of hirugami sachirou hes literally my envy in life. anyways i couldnt stop thinking about... new years... hiruhoshi... fuck and then bam this happened. new fic!! anyways this is dedicated to koho and nix.</p><p>nix is the coolest person in the world and lowkey why i became such a huge hoshiumi stan and anyways NIX I HOPE THIS IS A GOOD LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR U... I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR A WHILE... but wanted to make it happy. and koho who really likes seeing hoshiumi in love w/ sachirou. i think hoshiumi has a lot of love in his heart. anyways i hope u like this, i love u two sm. </p><p>isa i know u like holiday fics... so this is also a surprise for u.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>